I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
