Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
