Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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