Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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