Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
kristin has been a bad kristin
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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