my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
