I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I believe in your delicious
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
