I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
