So drunk its hurt
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
