Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
