There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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