"it" just moved
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
