If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
