We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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