i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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