thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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