she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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