CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize