i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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