Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
