I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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