I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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