i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
