Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I fill condoms, not promises.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
