There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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