i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
