Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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