They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
