dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
