Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
