I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
nutella sex= disaster
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
