Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
