ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
