It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize