loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
