I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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