how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
