one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
