So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just puked most of my soul out..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
