obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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