No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
