Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
