Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
