when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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