did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
