I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
