I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
