i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
