i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
