Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
