dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
