Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
