Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
