Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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