She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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