Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
