I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
